I heard someone dying when I was already dead with my presentations and reports earlier this morning.

So I just asked her distractedly: "Is she serious?"

Then later I suddenly became terrified.

 

Later the truth proved out she went through it.

 

I care about her so much.

Maybe because I saw myself in her, we are just sticking to different issues.
Thanks to Budda.

I see the sunshine again.

 

Bless her.

Pray for everyone to be strong.

 

 

 

Someone's born;

Someone's gone.

Death is lighter than air.

Life is millions of pound.

Abandom takes second.

Persistance needs life long.

Budda is forever right.

People are always wrong.

I just heard a song I have loved for a long long long time.

And it raised a question I had for a long long long time.

Why did they break up?

 

David Tao and Melody Yin, why did they break up?

I heard that once David took a liveshow in Taipei or HK or somewhere, Melody came on the stage when he was singing Melody as the last sing.

I was so so so curious to know what the hell they were thinking of at that time.

 

Anyone still has the belief that two can be good friends after breaking up?

That's really beyond my understanding and logics.

 

ps: I cant change the song in my space.
Here's the link:

A very very nice music show.

I can't imagine it's done by college students.

I love it so much and become a big fan of that.

Keep updating info about the plays on campus. Definitely will go there when new comes.

 

Actually when I saw them playing on the stage, it reminded me my greensalad days in high school performing in our own drama, too.

Little Mermaid & Mulan Fa.

I'm gonna remember them forever and ever.

 

And my days as a half-director, half-scripter, and hal-actress/actor (well, it depends on how to define the sex of little fish...)

 

And if she falls in love right now, it can be assumed.

Her every day... with me... are history....

 

Yep. They all have become history already.

I found the truth today that I don't like telephone talking.

 

Diagnosis:

1. Hesitate to call others.

2. Can't wait to hang off.

3. Hate phone ringing.

4. Forget to charge it all the time.

 

Potential Pathogenesis:

1. Not confident with voice

2. Afraid of getting brain cancer

 

Possible Therapies:

1. Throw the phone out of the window.

2. Go back to flintstone age

3. Call someone for more than 2 hours speaking English per day...

 

Conclusion;

Forget what I wrote above.

I began to regret for my missing lectures during his course.

Also I didn't have the chance to attend the course about Asian-Western Cultural Difference.

The History of Western Philosophy is the only course I took.

 

He was a humorious guy, ambitious and enthusiastic.

I still remember durging the final exam I wrote a sentence saying that I love Kant's philosophy most.

Philosophy means to love the wisdom. Professor Zhao told us at the first time we met. Tons and tons and tons of people in J3-001 which is the biggest classroom in WHU.

I even can remember the hot and humid weather in the early summer nights and the smell of flowers and woods outside the window.

 

He is always the best teacher (I use teacher here!) in WHU. Really.

 

I googled the exact title of the book written by Russell. I thought it's just something about history.

But the truth is, this book has a long long name:

A history of western philosophy, and its connection with political and social circumstances from the earliest times to the present day.

 

I guess this is right the thing Professor Zhao wanted us to get from his lectures.

 

Best wishes to his future life in XMU. And hope that one day I still can go there and attend his lecture.

 

 

“武汉大学各位关心我去留的同学们：

 

I told to Ai yesterday that I guessed I should leave the board.

I should have done so.

 

Long time ago someone has told me not to say "you should...".

Rather, please say "you want to..."

 

"Any difference? "I asked.

"For others, no. For yourself, yes." That guy smiled.

 

To balance the life on web and in reality is hard.

I'm not a supergirl. Only one of these is gonna kill me.

So you can't indulge yourself into anything useless.

You have tons of work to do.

You have to fight in life now for your future, no matter it's bright or miserable.

 

I want to fight in the limited rest of my age as a young guy. I know time flies.

Though I don't wanna become a lion which can conquer the whole plateau, at least do wanna be a zebra running with all my effort to survive.

I had a strange dream last night and when I woke up I found that I still could remember everything including the very trivial details.

 

It seemed to be very very long and started in a lighthouse or a tower. My best friend H (I don't wanna say who she is) were playing hide-and-seek with me there. I was the guy who counted and she was the guy who found place to hide. I cheated and knew exactly that she was hiding behind the door but when I came here I found nothing. I looked for her thorougly in the lighthouse. Eventually I have to accept the reality that she evaporated into the air in silence. I felt extremely scared so I dialed 911 (interestingly, I could remember clearly I dialed 911 instead of 110.) And later an African-American cop came and took down some notes about the accident and left. Before he left he just raised a question to me whether I drank or took some drug or had a medical history of illusion or sth. I shaked my head with no words but I did feel confused about his complexion (I couldn't tell his face right now but I still remember that complexion...)

Then I guessed I woke up for a short while coz I remembered that I took a look outside the window and found it was extremely dark outside. Immediately I fell into sleep again and the dream continued. Some time later, I don't know how long exactly it was, maybe several weeks, I was still looking for my friend but none of cops and other people cared for that any more. Sometime I asked myself whether this was just a dream or even illusion that my friend was gone. Maybe she had never existed in the world or she was living some other places far away from me. All of this was my illusion. I was sick, seriously.

At last I happened to meet the keep of the light house and begged him to tell me the truth. I still remembered the room and the order of the furniture and the location of the windows. I guessed they lived at the top of the light house, just beneath the roof coz I could see the buckets on the floor for leaking raindrops. The only sofa was covered with a linen sheet with faded-colored roses on it. Pink roses. That old man lived with his son and those two seemed really really tired. I talked to them in English and asked them to give me more info about my friends. I believed they should have seen her when we had played there but they just didn't wanna talk. I remembered that I cried out and all of things seemed in the dust. Then later I kneed (Damn! How could I do such kind of thing...). The father sighed and said in a low voice to me that you would never understand her behaviors if you know what she was doing now. Then he straightly looked into my eyes saying:"She used to have a wish to be a psycologist, right?"

Several days later when I went to work (in my dream I guessed I was a doctor or at least I worked in hospital), I found a patient who was very familiar to me. Nurses told me that she was the volunteer for a new psychiatrical therapy but unfortunately it failed and she lost all the memory and talents and thoughts....

 

Then I woke up finding its already in the morning. I was exhausted and with sweat and tired eyes. I guessed I might cry during the night. Suddenly I began to miss all my friends and I just wished them to be fine.

I've never thought that this is sung by Karen Mok, though I did suspect her when I heard the breath between the words.

I googled it then found out I had heard of it before. Not so long time ago in a Taiwanese drama.
Love Letter, one episode in "Say Yes Enterprise", performed by BigS and Lan Cheng Long when those two were in relationship.

This episode is the only one with tragic ending of this drama. I remebered that I saw the ending myself. Also I remembered that I loved the picture she drew on the wall of a bird standing on the tree.

Then why can't I remember this song?

Or maybe I loved it too much then I forgot.

Sometimes things you think you will never forget will be erased first. It's aberrant from science. But it's really the truth in life.

 

 

 

I told Xiangen I wanna do that but I'm afraid of talking to strangers. She suggested me never take things making you uncomfortable and embarassed. Still I took it, did it and finished it.

It's quite an easy piecie of cake. You just sweeped the leaves on the grass in the park, collected them and put them beside the main road. I thought we three (we are in group of 3 people) can definitely finish this small area on the grass in less than 2 hours and have 1 hour free. But it proved that even after 3 hours we just finished half of it and we were already exhausted about that. Still I think it's better than staying in home or doing nothing on the web. Hope I can do some more later.

The weather is hot today and I'm pretty dirty now.

Go home have a bath and change my new SKIRT. lol..

 

 

writing lol reminds me of a joke happening right on myself.

i love using internet slang when chatting or writing and im quite confident about myself in this area. And I always have the idea that "WTF" on web means "Wonderful" till one day some guy told me "WTF" equals "what the f*ck". Thank buddist I've never used that before others...

Just googled it and found another interesting one- "IWSN". Guess what? I'm WeiSuoNan (WeiSuoNv)?

Damnly wrong! Haha, google it yourself...

 

p.s.: I love saying DAMN IT these days coz I'm fan of Dr. Gregory House these days. Actually, sometimes I just wanna do nothing except keeping saying "God Damn F*cking sth" to some jerk, HW, quiz, exam, paper, report...
If I say this kind of things to you some day, just forget it. I don't mean to do so.

 

Here it goes:

THINGS TO BE DONE

 

04/19: Chem II:                  Lab #10 Preparation

 

04/20: MCS:                       PowerPoint

           Chem II:                   Lab #10

 

04/21: Volunteer

 

04/23: Chem II:                   Final Quiz Proctoring

           MCS:                        Group Discussion

 

04/24: MedChem:               Final Exam
           MCS:                        Final Presentation

 

04/25: Library:                    Final Bibliography

           Chem II:                   TA Office Hour

 

04/26: Modern Method:      Exam #3

 

04/27: Chem II:                   Postlab #9 & Prelab #10 Return
           Show

 

05/01: MCS:                        Final Paper

 

05/02: Group Meeting:        Presentation & FOOD!

 

05/03: Modern Method:       Final Presentation

 

05/08: Chem II:                    Final Exam Proctoring

           MCS:                        Take Home Exam #2

 

05/09: Chem II:                    Grading

 

05/10: FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!☻♥♪♫

 

 

 

Life Sucks!
Cat Survives!

 

Yue sent back my email saying "So you are buying Abercrombie & Fitch and saying you are poor to get a secondhand car?"

I bursted into laughter in front of the screen and I thought she definitely is correct!

She know this side of me as I do myself.

 

I guess maybe I'll write blog in English too as she started 1 month ago. English is forever a problem though most people will praise both my oral and written English.

Faceup is right. If someone keeps saying good for your English, it means nothing but the opinion that you're still foreigner.

It's not bad to be a foreigner, right? Yes, yes. But could you please try to find some other stuff to talk about? Such as weather or even buggling?

 

Thinking in English is sometimes good for me coz I can't merge myself into a sink full of sorrow and past in this language. When I use English I have to think critically and seriously what I'm trying to expressing and what I'm saying now. To deal with the logics between line then respond properly has been already tough.

 

Troy is still cold. No snow, no rain, no sun. Just cloudy from dawn to dark till midnight.

Dad and mom called to remind me safety.  Yep, safety is the most important thing.

I have to say I'm kind of numb to those crime alerts around campus. But this kind of information did block my thoughts to be a volunteer in hospital in evenings. I'm still struggling with this idea. Hope everything is gonna be fine.

 

This diary made me feel like I was still in junior high school. At that time I had to hand in week diaries to Ms. Yang every Thursday. It seemed to suck, but looks so pretty when I try to turn back have a look from today.

Bless VT.

Bless all the victims and alives.

Bless that this is not gonna happen, NEVER.

我忍哪忍哪忍哪，一直企盼可以把这个学期混过去，可惜电脑就是不给面子。

事态终于在我下个礼拜有n多作业要due的这个周末发展到了不可救药的地步，我的宝贝电脑终于每天要自动重起3次以上，蓝屏5次以上，再也无法正常关机要依靠卡掉电源电池的暴力举动了。

就好像我在追男人追到最后男人都不被我的诚心感动而对我恶狠狠的说滚，一样。

 

重装了重装了重装了，这几天你们都要找不到我了。

生日祝福在此提前一天谢过了，祝福amy今天生日快乐，祝福鱼明天签证pass。

就这样吧，我要开始格盘了。

 

有时候想想，人生如果能在一团乱乱到无言以对的时候随便格了重来就好了。

再想想，要是这样人生也没啥意思了。

 

做一个第一个祝福自己生日快乐的人，阳小猫丫头，2007年4月16日，23岁生日快乐。

拿到stenken大妈发回来的家庭作业，硕大的一个B搁在上头，顿时觉得很不爽，非常不爽，非常非常不爽。我写的5面的paper就给我撂一个didn't access to my questioin上头，什么意思，我怎么没有access to YOUR question了，我怎么没说清楚了，你tmd把这些乱七八糟的给我用中文说说看你试试，你没耐心看我可以跟你讲啊，你这样给我甩那你什么意思，都少来跟我扯什么读phd要高gpa没用，是你是我还是我是我，我靠。

也是自己找犯贱，明知山有虎偏向虎山行，早就听说此人变态异常居然还选她的课。

这下完了，GPA又要被拖下去了，别人人人都是研究生4.0，我弄个3.5，sigh。

再次萌生drop的欲望。

阳小猫你怎么就这么这么的贱，上学期差点自己搞死自己怎么这学期还捡最难的骨头啃，你毕业了到时候谁管你当时是不是选得最难的课啊，你GPA就是没别人好看。

我再郑重说一次，老子要GPA是有用的，我靠。

胡天四月飘飞雪，还真是那么回事。

因为，又下雪了。

 

autoimmune disease根本看不懂。

昨天边跑步边看文献到最后都把怨气出在跑步机上了，看不懂啊看不懂。

不过跟我一起准备presentation的mm说她也不懂，她是生物系的本科，顿时我心里好过半截。

 

下午外头雪飘得正大我就去听了harvard一个教授的讲座，buddism Vs. neuroscience，基本就是什么都没听懂。

倒是全场就我一个亚洲面孔很引人注目，开场前人教授还专门喊坐在角落里面窝成一团的我要到前面去才听得清楚。

捎带着说到藏传佛教的答赖的政治问题的时候还往我这个方向看了一眼，我面无表情的放空，我对政治不敏感也没兴趣。

虽然说听不懂，，但是貌似是很有趣的话题。

 

而且去听了跨学科的lecture才知道，我的英语还是有很大的问题。

不记得以前是看谁的签名档还是布拉格还是自定义称谓写了一句，活在当下。

当时觉得人要是这么活着跟禽兽有什么区别啊，后来发现真是真理。

未来想太多就会觉得灰心丧气，再想远一点大家最后谁不是死啦死啦滴，燕姿唱对一半，谁都要去上帝那里报到。还有一半的人去佛祖阿拉阎王爷哈蒂斯报道，还有少数个别人可能喝孟婆汤被呛死烫死过迷津体重太大船翻了淹死。

想那么多日子都不要过了，撑死胆大饿死胆小，总不是要挂，干吗挂得瘦骨嶙峋，谁知道地狱现在是不是流行骨感，说不定管事的是个唐朝人。

活在当下，其实要做到很不容易，也很容易。

 

现在觉得每天为生活奋斗也没什么不好，觉得自己年纪一把早就没有热情，倒是别人在评价我的时候还是会用enthusiastic和energetic来形容我。

现在听到谁跟我说你在科学的道路上奋斗我都觉得脸红，想起以前有人对我说的你这样爱好科学的孩子上帝是会给你翅膀的，那么现在上帝怕是觉得自己看走了眼一桶滚水浇下来准备拔毛而已。

有人可能就在这份上挂了，我只是连烫带痛得继续活蹦乱跳而已。

说到底，换个方式的努力奋斗而已。

长跑过后才知道原来呼吸的时候要牵动那么多肋骨和肌肉，活着真tmd不容易。

期末来临。

据说期末完了冬天才能过完。

饿滴神哪。

太不爽了。

昨天晚上一不留神，不知道那个座的地方为什么会有钉子一样的东西，把那条adidas的裤子挂破了，正好在pp的部位。

补了很久就是补不好，什么玩意啊，他妈的。

 

最喜欢的一条adidas的裤子，棉的，美国根本没卖的，国内肯定卖完了。

深蓝色，粉红色的strips，最要命的是，跟我的上衣是一套啊。

破哪条不好，偏偏这一条，真tmd点背。

哪里有卖的啊，天。

 

真是烦，做什么都烦。

 

 

补充：

* Patiently hoping for a Degree
* Piled higher and Deeper (after BS = Bullsh..., MS = More of the Same...)
* Professorship? hah! Dream on!
* Please hire. Desperate.
* Physiologically Deficient
* Pour him (or her) a Drink
* Philosophically Disturbed
* Probably headed for Divorce
* Pathetically hopeless Dweeb
* Probably heavily in Debt
* Parents have Doubts
* Professors had Doubts
* Pheromone Deprived
* Permanent head Damage
* Pretty homely Dork
* Potential heavy Drinker
* Professional hamburger Dispenser....."Would you like fries with that?"
* Pretty heavily Depressed
* Prozac handouts Desired
* Pretty heavy Diploma
* Pathetic homeless Dreamer
* Proudly half Dead
* Phinally done!

作者：Trinity 在 海归茶馆 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com

四月的开头，不记得还有没有必然的april shower，倒是昨天晚上tao对着外面忽然大喊，啊，居然下雪了啊。

虽然只有一点点，可是，的确是下雪了，可怕啊。

 

四月的开头有很多考试，很多作业，很多paper，很多form，还有后面无声无息的实验挥着鞭子嘿修嘿修把我往前赶。

觉得每天都很累，睡不够，这才发现原来春天真得来了。

 

买了sony的mp3，黑色，好吧，生日礼物就是它了。

香水没有买，衣服没有买，娃娃没有买，因为没空，也懒。

 

如今每天没有咖啡都不知道日子该怎么过。

 

四月底搬家，新地方我在看到的第一眼就说不出的喜欢，木地板，桌子临窗，很熟悉。

我觉得我可能真的开始老了，怎么就那么不经折腾了呢。

四月快点过完，过完了我的暑假就开始了，我就再也不用上课，不用作业，不用考试，可以安静看书，努力工作，坚持锻炼，好好休息。

又是这样，不来的时候期盼赶紧来，来了又扳着指头哭着喊着让他走。

四月一过完，我就23了。