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    10/1/2009

    当时间已然成为手中的水

    无论是紧紧握住,还是摊开,最终都会流淌干涸。

    忘了在哪看到的这句话,也不记得几时看的,只记得当时看完之后大哭一场。
    现在想起来觉得那哭的简直是莫名其妙。但也会忽然想念起那个能因为一句话,一片落叶或者是一场雨默默流泪的年华,因为发现很多时候已经人已经变得木木的,明明伤心却还能笑得像个疯子一样,明明是在说自己的心情,听得人却以为我在编故事。
    就好像有时候我现在看镜子中的自己,觉得不识得,很陌生的样子。
    我已经不再拒绝成长,也在试着抹去棱角接受现实,更在很多事情来的时候一遍一遍得跟自己说没关系我不在乎这样其实也很好。有时候这真得很管用,可更多时候,我睡不着的时候,就会靠着枕头怎么想也想不通,打毛线都没有用。
    这是怎么的,食古不化还是冥顽不灵呢。或是仅仅是永远比这个年龄段的要求慢半拍的我,只能这么跌跌撞撞举步维艰呢。

    我觉得我自己快没电了。
    可是,不能认输不是麽。再难过,悲伤,疲倦,愤怒,都不可以认输,不是麽。

    如果注定水会流尽,那我宁愿让残留的痕渍幻化出美丽如花朵的形状,至少我要记住最后那一刻,微凉的心情。

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    Liang Huangwrote:
    做phd要没心没肺才能健康开心
    Oct. 1

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